I am SO happy it's March. I am SO happy to turn the page to a new month because I need a do-over. Don't get me wrong; February had its high points. Celebrating M's birthday and Valentine's Day and some serious work highs for M. I got to visit with my sweet Grandmother and my parents and my sister. We went an entire month with no car or pet-related disasters. These are all good things.
But I also gained 2 pounds {see: birthday and Valentine's Day} and am still experiencing this mystery pain that no one can tell me the cause of and I'm just in a very strange place personally right now. Feeling very adrift and uncertain of what I want and what the future looks like. And for a Type-A planner like me who NEEDS to have every detail of every day planned out, feelings of uncertainty are incredibly stressful. I try not to get caught up in the obsessive need to have a plan for everything and just enjoy this crazy ride, but without a plan, I can't help but feel like I'm wasting precious time and energy and youth. Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like you're supposed to have a decent amount of uncertainty in your life as a mid-twenty-something, but I feel like I'm surrounded by people who have it together, who know what they want to do and where they're going and then I feel like a loser for not having even the slightest inkling of what I'm supposed to be doing.
Also, my house is a mess, I have piles of laundry all over the house, and a to-do list as long as my arm. Nothing, I mean NOTHING, contributes more to my stress than unfinished business around the house. It's an unwelcome visceral reminder of how messy things are for me right now.
Now that all of that emo stuff is out of the way, let's get down to bidness with the good stuff, shall we?
pineapple upside down cupcakes, i need you in my life.
if we're being honest, i need this 25-day ballet bootcamp challenge a lot more.
i am super-duper intrigued by this salad dressing that joanna posted on and am totally going to order a case. has anyone tried this? apparently it has a blue-blood cult following.
dying for this dress, although it's completely sold out. hoping they'll e-mail me to tell me it's been restocked soon!
And just because. Aren't these two the sweetest? They weren't sure what to make of me being home during the day this week, but they took advantage of extra couch cuddles. I love my little monsters.
Happy weekend to you!
9 comments:
Sweets! I hope you are on the mend. That list will get done. I promise. I also feel like people don't have things as together as they pretend to. I am 30 and everything EVERYTHING is still as uncertain as it was at 25. Except that I have more wrinkles. That is for certain. :) Thinking of you!!!
Oh no, the hospital! I hope you are feeling better, being sick or in pain SUCKS!
I feel like I could have written this post myself! There are SO many days I look at my life and realized I'm 31 (ouch) and feel like I have SO far to go to get to where I want to be, with no idea how I'll get there. It's hard, I feel like I'm at the bottom of a mountain and no way to get over it. I get it, and I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Hang in there, it does get better (or so I'm told) and wine does help :)
Oh no, hospital?? I hope you're feeling much better now. Enjoy the weekend to keep healing and then you can start chipping away at the list.
Yikes! I hope you're feeling better! So sorry you had to go to the yucky hospital. Mid-20s is hard. I can tell you that half of my friends who had it so together then are falling apart now, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. It'll get better.
First hope you are doing better, glad theres nothing wrong. Hey I am in my 40's and still trying to figure out what i am going to do when I grow up..lol. You are still so young and honestly show me a 20 something year old who has it all together and I will tall you its the exception not the rule!
If theres one word of advice I will give..its follow what you love, go with your passion, be true to yourself. May sound like a cliche but boy is it ever true. When you love what you do it will not feel like work and chances are that you will find enormous happiness and gratification. I am very type A, OCD, needs to have a plan...letting go is so liberating and I am getting better every day at it and just allowing things to happen while following what I love.
Hang in there, todays a new day and remember EVERYONE and I do mean EVERYONE is fighting some kind of a battle, be it big or small. Chin up and sending you a smile!
It's not emo, it's real. You don't owe anyone cheer. Your voice is valuable whatever the mood.
Aww, it's totally okay to have that month. Just glad you shared! I feel you on the need to have plans and feeling inadequate, but you have your life together way more than you feel. A messy house is just a temporary thing and you'll get it clean and feel better. Hang in there (and happy March!)!
Sarah,
I'm sorry you had such a rough week. I promise you...we all do. Uncertainty is normal...it just means you are looking for something more. Are you writing in a journal or do you have a meditation or devotion book you can read each day? I'm reading Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance...A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. I think it is great. And, to be honest i've had it for years and it sat on the bookshelf. I hit a personal low point in November and was determined to make some changes, inside and out. Reading this has helped me work on being grateful, staying centered, etc..
You're not alone...and I am with you. When things are clean and tidy, I am MUCH happier. So, tidy up a little and give yourself a clean slate!
Big hugs!
xoxo Elizabeth
I feel like you and I are living similar weeks lately. I'm in the same sort of mood. Also, I'm really sorry about the whole hospital. I hope you're feeling better girl. Here's to hoping that March brings some better things :)
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