I am not particularly happy right now. And I should be. I married my best friend 3 weeks ago. He's my favorite. We are both gainfully employed and make a comfortable living. We have an adorable dog who worships us {when he's not busy eating brownies out of the trash and sending us to the doggie ER}. We have our health and our family. Life is good, right?
Except we really do not like our new city. We are very lonely here. He doesn't have any guy friends and I don't have any girlfriends. I know, I know...the old "just put yourselves out there" routine. Except there are very few young people here. And even fewer young people who we share anything in common with. And it sucks. We adore one another and spending time together, but honestly, I need someone to go squeal their way through "Breaking Dawn" with. He needs someone to play squash and hoops with. I need a shopping buddy. He needs a college-basketball-watching buddy.
Also, the city itself is....blech. I was super-excited when we moved here about the close proximity to D.C. Surely moving somewhere an hour away from our nation's bustling, stylish capital would mean moving somewhere somewhat bustling and stylish by proxy. Nope. Despite my access to shiny new things like 3 Targets, 4 Chick-fil-a's, and multiple Starbucks and Sonics, we have actually moved somewhere significantly less bustling and stylish than Small Town, VA. We have taken to referring to our new city as "fake nice" or "strip-mall fancy". You know the type...those restaurants with tons of fake plants and twinkle lights and plastic "street lamps" to make you feel like you're in Italy or France when really you're next to a KMart. That's our city.
I love blogging and all of the people I have "met" through it, but recently, it's been putting me down in the dumps. Because I read all these posts of people going to charming dinner parties and planning Christmas get-togethers and hanging out with their equally fun-and-fabulous friends and I'm jealous. I want that. A life that I am living online. Ugh, that is so lame sauce! But so very true right now.
I realize that in the grand scheme of things, this is small potatoes. I feel terribly silly complaining about this, especially right now in the season of Thanksgiving. I am grateful for all of the positive, wonderful things I have in my life, and I know there are many. I don't want to be so preoccupied with the life I don't have that I don't enjoy the one I have. I know I need to focus on making the best of things; we're most likely going to be here for awhile. So I've got to work at it. Right now, though, I just needed to vent.
Thanks for listening, all two of you who slogged through my self-indulgent whiny pants musings.
I'm looking forward to a visit from my parents this weekend {putting them to work with sorting and organizing weddings presents!}, a sushi date with my husband {squeeee! so not tired of saying that yet.} tonight, and getting this sweater for 75% off on Sunday.
Happy Friday, sweet readers!
13 comments:
Im going through the EXACT SAME THING!
Where do you live? I'm just outside DC. I completely understand where you're coming from. My husband is a Marine and we were stationed in a non-military community for 3 years and it was SO hard to make friends and as much as we love each other, we were on one another's last dang nerve. You'll settle in. It may just take a while. I always joke that I make my best friends and adore my city right about the time we move again.
Whaaa I LOVE that sweater!!! GAH! Must have!
I'm sorry your new town is so lame-o. But just think... there are other lame-o towns nearby with other young people just like you with the same problem... it's going to take some time to find your Twilight-squealing partner in crime, but you'll get there!! Patience! :)
PS: I live in a pretty active area, and I NEVER do anything. So don't feel bad. But that's because I'm more lame than your town. ;)
Have you tried meetup.com, there are lots of groups out there and you might be able to find one you are interested in!
keep your chin up! Moving to a new town is always hard. When I moved to Boston almost 2 1/2 years ago it was soo hard and I missed NY so much. Every month is gets a bit easier. xoxo KGB
Booo. I am sorry to hear the new town isn't as fab as you hoped. I bet it is hard to meet new people in a new place. Have you considered volunteering somewhere? Just a thought. I met some fun people that way (they were volunteering for Junior League causes) and it has led to some great times.
I need that sweater. Do tell how you plan to get it at 75% off. I want in.
Ok, I LOVE the sweater. And come visit me in DC! Even if it's only for a "Say Yes to the Dress" squeal-fest. Kelli and I will keep planning our fun girls' weekend!
I understand this completely and lived through it several time. Moved a lot with my husband's job and each time it was like re-building a life. Small, remote towns are the hardest for sure. It gets easier. It helps to introduce yourself to every person you meet, neighbors, co-workers, etc. Sounds silly but check into "Newcomers". I met some nice people through them. Hang in there. I know it's hard!
I'm in DC and it definitely takes some getting used to! Where in the area are you? There are lots of great places to see, I can make lots of suggestions!
Oh boo! Give it time. There are always pockets of cool people somewhere. And if you still hate it in two years, move. Soulless cities are the worst. All those plastic lettered signs and dining "experiences."
New reader here. Is there a Junior League in the area? I joined when we moved here as a way to meet people. I didn't love it the first year, but now that I'm on a committee with fabulous women, I love it. Are there other young people on your block? Our neighborhood (really small- like 20 houses) does a monthly game night with a different house hosting each month. It's awesome and I love my neighbors (and we're all quite different). Perhaps you could host one?
An hour outside of DC is tough. Can you plan to move closer in at some point? Or is it a commute issue?
If you're a runner, you might look into joining a local training program or fun run group or a chapter of the local road runners. that's a great way to meet all KINDS of people. Volunteering too. We volunteer with Lost Dog & Cat Rescue now and then. handling the dogs and kitties at adoption events is a great way to meet other people.
Hey doll - sorry it took me a few days to get over here and comment. I wanted to tell you everything you're feeling is totally normal, and I've been there before too. It feels strange when you are newlyweds and you feel a little isolated...and sometimes you need to break up the couple time with friend time too. Love Katie's suggestion about volunteering somewhere, you're just bound to meet some nice people for sure, especially this time of year! I love AEOT's suggestion above too (love her too by the way, she's a sweetie, you will love her as well!) about getting together with your neighbors for a game night, pot luck party, football game party etc. too. Good food and drinks always brings people together and would be a nice change of pace from the restaurant scene. Have you thought about looking into the JL too? Wishing we lived closer! :) Hugs to you cutie pie!
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