Third Time's A Charm

Yes, that's right, we're moving again! For the third time since our engagement. {The fourth time if you count the fact that we moved in together 2 weeks before M proposed.}

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I haven't made it much of a secret that we've been pretty unhappy with our living situation for the past 2 years. We knew that if an opportunity presented itself this summer, we had to jump on it and go. As it happens, just such an opportunity presented itself a few days ago in the form of an incredible job offer for M.  So in a little less than 4 weeks, we'll be driving our dogs and all of our worldly possessions to Vermont.  I'm becoming a Yankee!  After our somewhat nomadic lifestyle over the past couple of years {4 moves in 2.5 years}, we are looking forward to putting down roots in New England.

I am a bundle of nerves right now. I'm excited and scared and stressed and happy and stressed and nervous and stressed.  Did I mention stressed? Coordinating a 600-mile move on 3 weeks' notice to a place I've never set foot in is causing me to consume a lot of Tums. It will absolutely all be worth it and we're lucky to have friends and family connections in the area, but woof. Throw in the 100+ pounds of neurotic coonhounds who will be moving with us and I am a bonafide mess.

Things I Am Excited About:
*Christmas in Vermont {Hello..."White Christmas" is only one of my all-time FAVORITE movies.}
*Fall in Vermont. Duh.
*Summer in Vermont. Goodbye Southern heat and humidity. Won't miss you at all.  Except in months November-May.
*Proximity to Canada. No, seriously. I have never been. And we will be 90 minutes from Montreal. So basically 90 minutes from France Lite. Just go with it.
*Proximity to Boston. 3 hours from many dear friends and one of my favorite cities. Yay!
*Proximity to seriously amazing skiing. Can't wait to hit the slopes.
*J. Crew, Trader Joe's, Williams-Sonoma, and TONS of adorable little locally-owned shops and restaurants. {I realize I've probably just committed a major Vermont sin by listing large corporations as a reason I'm excited to move there.}
*Being the most conservative person in political conversations for once.
*Finally justification for my obsession with coats.
*Living in a fun city with lots to do and lots of people our age. I am going to go on a friend binge. I can't wait.
*ALL THE CHEESE.

Things I Am Nervous About:
*I have never lived outside of the state of Virginia, let alone outside of the South.
*I have never lived more than 3 hours away from my parents.
*Winter in Vermont. I am terrified.
*Our heating bill. See above.
*Lack of Duke's mayonnaise.
*Lack of "y'all" in the vocabulary.
*Moving somewhere I have never been and renting a house I have never seen. All the makings of a potential disaster, or at the very least, an interesting living situation for the next year.
*Finding gainful employment. Vermont has a rather small economy and people hold on to full-time jobs with both hands.
*Money. As if I wasn't already nervous about that, we're moving to a place with a higher cost of living.
*ALL THE CHEESE. {I don't do moderation very well.}

The positives far outweigh the negatives and we are both over-the-moon excited. I've promised the dogs that Mummy will buy them some snow boots and jackets and they're not so sure about the whole thing, but I promised them there would also be dog treats, so they're on board. This will be an exciting adventure for us and a place to start over after a challenging couple of years.

Native New Englanders, any advice on what cold-weather gear I should start stockpiling now?

Budget Bride

WARNING: GRATUITOUS WEDDING PHOTOS AHEAD

I've come to the decision to sell my wedding dress.  I've gone back and forth about whether or not I want to keep it for sentimental reasons, but it just seems like a pain in the ass to have to move it with us wherever we go in life on the off chance that a} we have a daughter{s} and b} said daughter{s} would even want to wear my dress.  If we do have a daughter who wants to wear a family dress, we still have my mom's dress, which is beautiful.  So that solves that problem.


So if you know a bride-to-be who's in the market for a wedding dress for less than $1k, please share, tweet, email this info!  The link to the Once Wed posting can be found here, but here are some additional pictures and information:

Designer: Manuel Mota for Pronovias

Purchased at Betsy Robinson Bridal in Baltimore, MD

Purchase price: $1910 + alterations

Asking price: $975 + S/H

PayPal Only

The dress came with optional straps, which I used and had sewn in, but they can be removed to make the dress strapless.

Dress size is 8, altered to fit a street size 2/4.  I am 5'2"; it was hemmed to fit 5'6" with heels. 

The dress has been professionally dry cleaned.  There is some faint staining along the bottom of the dress and underside of the train, but it is only noticeable upon close inspection.  

Please send this on to anyone you think may be interested. 

Summer Slimdown Part III

So we've talked about goals.  We've talked about the plan of attack.  And now we need all the help we can get.  Short of posting our address so that y'all can send all your extra cash our way, here are some things that have been helpful/motivational/educational thus far:

Budget Bytes/meal planning: As you know, I cook most every night and do so from a weekly menu.  I don't need to rehash the details for you {you can find them here}.  Meal planning in and of itself helps save quite a bit of money and it certainly did so for us when I first started on our meal planning journey 2.5 years ago.  But now we need to me more aggressive.  Budget reduction has forced me to do two things: have up to the minute knowledge of what's in our pantry/fridge/freezer and hunt for more inexpensive recipes that are still healthy and fall in line with our food values.

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Enter the Budget Bytes website.  You may have noticed that a LOT of my Menu Monday recipes as of late have come from her website. There are so many delicious ideas and they're all realistic and wallet-friendly.  I still use my other usual recipe sources, but I have to analyze them more closely to make sure they fit within our grocery budget.  The good news is that the budget reduction has helped me in my goal to reduce our meat consumption.  Meat ain't cheap!

Any other websites or resources for real food {i.e. no packaged, processed junk} recipes on a budget?

Dave Ramsey's website: While we have no plans to enroll in any FPU classes or purchase any of the materials, there is a wealth of information on Dave Ramsey's website that is available for free.  Information on the cash envelope system, the seven baby steps, home buying, and more is there for the taking.  Honestly, I haven't even scratched the surface with the available information.

Nancy Ray's website: I found Nancy's website through Em for Marvelous and it's been very inspirational.  This post in particular has links to resources they found to be helpful.

Excel: OMG this would NOT be possible without my handy dandy Excel spreadsheet.  I have one document for our budget.  There is a different worksheet for each month.  Each worksheet is broken down into the following categories: Fixed Expenses, Minimum Credit Card Payment, Envelopes, Debt Pay-Off, and Income. Depending on any special circumstances that month, there may also be columns for Gifts {even though the money is coming out of the Gifts envelope, I use these columns to budget exactly how much to spend on each gift} or Travel or, like this month, M's Parking Tickets.  At the bottom of each spreadsheet I have what our total amount of debt is at the beginning of the month. That helps me keep an eye on the big picture.  I get a really sick pleasure out of updating my little Excel workbook. I love it.

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One thing that hasn't worked: envelopes. Not to be confused with the Envelope System. Since this is our first month and it seemed a little contradictory to purchase a special wallet for a system that's supposed to help us STOP spending money, I just used plain ole paper envelopes.  FAIL. This worked for M's envelopes {he has one for his gas money, one for his fun money, and he has the one for pet supplies} because he just keeps them locked in his car.  For me, it just meant that I had loose change falling out into the bottom of my purse. Disaster. It caused some serious stress in the check-out line at the grocery store last week.  I'm going to have to get me one of these pretty little things to help with the organization.

So that wraps up our money talk for the week!  I'd love to know what resources have been helpful to those of you workin' your family budgets. I get distracted easily, so I need mucho assistance in staying on task during our journey to being 100% debt-free.  I'll be checking in periodically on our progress, mainly when we've crossed something off the checklist or hit a major milestone.  We're hoping to reduce our total debt by 10% by the end of this year.  Fingers crossed!

Summer Slimdown Part II

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Growing up I was told that it wasn't polite to talk about politics, sex, or money.  We're not talking politics or sex today {you're welcome, Mom}, but we are continuing our chat about money.  I realize there are some of you who find this mind-numbingly boring, but I love, love, LOVE reading about the way other people, especially people my age, manage money. It's the financial equivalent of peeking into someone's medicine cabinet.

It's a little {maybe a lot} scary to be talking about our finances in such detail on here. Money is such a private thing and it's not something I sit around discussing with anyone other than M.  But I'm hoping through sharing our experience and our goals that this will provide some accountability and support.  I'm such a typical fire sign. I'll make a plan and have goals and get all pumped up for them and then a month later I'm totally off the bandwagon.  Maybe the fear of public shaming will help me get back on board when we inevitable fall off.

So.  When we left off yesterday, I was talking about how the hard part of all this is turning all of our exciting goals and dreams into plans and actions.  The first thing I did was pretty basic: add up how much comes in each month and add up how much goes out.  I added up all of the obligatory recurring expenses {rent, utilities, gas, car payments, student loan payments, car insurance, cell phone bill, etc.} and put them into one category.  Minimum monthly credit card payments were added up and put into another category.  Then comes the new part: the envelope system.

I vaguely remember my parents using the envelope system at one point in my childhood and I know I've seen other bloggers {the Duchess of Fork comes to mind} who use it.  But it wasn't until I read Emily's guest post from Nancy that I thought, "Hey, we can do that!".  And do that we did.

We are half way through our first month of the envelope system.  I can already see that I'm going to need to make some adjustments {I under budgeted for a number of items}, but that's OK.  We'll make the necessary changes and try again next month.  Most everything I've read says that it takes a few months to really get the hang of it, so perseverance is the name of the game.  I have to say, it is REALLY strange to be carrying around so much cash and see the resulting teeny tiny balance in our checking account. It's unsettling, especially because I rarely ever carry cash.

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Here are the envelopes we have:

Groceries: pretty self-explanatory. Prior to our budget adjustment, we were spending about $400/month on groceries.  I cook pretty much every single night, plus we pack our lunches and eat breakfast at home.  We rarely eat out, not because we don't like it, but because the only restaurant options in our town are Arby's, McDonald's, and Denny's. I'm challenging myself to go down to $300/month.  I'd love to go even lower, but we're taking baby steps.

Pet Supplies: We have two dogs, one of which is on a special diet and medication due to allergies and anxiety. Right now I've got $100/month budgeted, but that may be able to scale down to $80 or $90. We'll see.

Pet Boarding/Vet: Again, pretty self-explanatory. I've got $100/month budgeted for this.  Depending on how much we scale back on our traveling, I may be able to trim this to $70/month, but it adds up quickly.  Two nights in the kennel for our two boys is $84.  This is a rollover envelope, meaning anything that doesn't get spent in a month just stays in the envelope.  The idea being that it builds up a back-up to our emergency savings should anything major happen to one of our boys.

Household: This envelope is for things like toilet paper, dish detergent, hand soap, etc.  This is outside of our grocery budget, which is new for me.  I budgeted $15/month this month, which was not nearly enough, but that was because we ran out of everything at once.  This will be a rollover envelope.

Personal Care: This envelope is for haircuts, highlights, body wash, shampoo, toothpaste, make-up, etc.  Right now I've only got $25/month budgeted. Some months that will be more than enough, but some months it won't even come close.  This one may need to be adjusted, but we'll see. This will definitely be a rollover envelope.

Fun Money: I'm sticking to the diet philosophy that if you deny yourself any and all treats, you're much more likely to crash and burn. I've budgeted a total of $80/month, or $40/each.  This may be a bit too generous, so depending  on what adjustments need to be made to the other envelopes, this may go down to as little as $50/month.

Date Night: Not negotiable. I see our de-debting plan not only as an investment in our financial future, but in our marriage. Money is a top cause of divorce and we want to be mindful of that, but I don't want to neglect taking care of our relationship as a means to an end.  I'm allotting $40/month, so not much more than a pizza night at home and seeing a movie.  But this is an important one that I want to try not to cut back on.

Auto Care: This envelope is outside of the money budgeted for gas for our cars. The idea is for this to build up to pay for routine maintenance like oil changes and inspections, as well as a back-up to our emergency savings should anything more major happen with one of our cars.

Gifts: Pretty self-explanatory.  I've budgeted $40/month.  Some months we'll spend it all {it's already forcing me to be extra creative with our gift-giving occasions this summer!}, some months it will rollover to save up for things like our anniversary and Christmas.

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OK, so some people refer to their fun money as blow money. But if I had an envelope for blow, I would assume someone was funding a yet-to-be-discovered cocaine habit.  Maybe for some people it's one and the same?

So I add up the recurring expenses, the minimum credit card payments, and the envelopes and subtract the total from our income.  Everything else goes to paying down debt.

We have a ways to go to really get the hang of this.  I can already tell there are going to be times when it really sucks {i.e. not a lot of built-in $$ for my drive-thru McDonald's Diet Coke habit}, but I can also already tell that it is going to be hugely helpful for us in reaching our goals.

Do any of you use the envelope system or some version of it? As a newbie, I would LOVE any tips/tricks/advice you might have.  And if anyone would like to help prettify our envelope system, you are more than welcome to buy this lovely wallet for me :)

Tomorrow is the last financial post of the week {I promise}. I'll be posting the different resources that have been helpful so far...

Summer Slimdown Part I

A few weeks ago, I mentioned in a recent post that we were cutting back on both calories and spending in our house. Katie commented that they were doing the same and Mr. Perk was referring to it as the Summer Slimdown. I love giving things a title {makes it feel more official and, dare I say, fun?} so I'm stealing theirs! The cutting back on calories is pretty self-explanatory {not-so-subtle plug to come follow me on My Fitness Pal at username GessHoo07!}, but I thought I would share a little more on our budget reduction.

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Debt is something we've really struggled with from early on in our relationship.  M came into our marriage with no car payment and next-to-nothing credit card debt, but a ton of student loans.  I was the opposite; I came in with a car that was half paid for, student loans that were half paid for, and quite a bit of credit card debt.  It's something that's constantly hanging over our heads.

Up until recently, I've kind of kidded ourselves into thinking we were relatively financially sound.  We make more than enough to pay our bills, we have some emergency savings, and we have quite a bit squirreled away in our retirement accounts.  But it always came back to the debt.  Inspired by the Em is for Marvelous posts on money, I sat down and took a brutal look at our finances and came up with a strategy and timeline for paying off our debt.  Paying off all of our credit card debt was one of my 101 in 1,001 goals, but honestly?  Kind of a wimpy goal.  Now the goal is ALL debt. The cars {we ended up buying one for M in October so now it's 2 car payments}, the credit cards, the student loans.  Every last bit GONE by the time I turn 30, or hopefully sooner.

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On our timeline, we should have 3 of the 5 credit cards paid off by September and my car paid off by October.  The next hurdle are the remaining 2 credit cards, which carry most of our credit card debt. The plan is to have one paid off by the end of the calendar year and the other one paid off by March 2014.  Then we'll tackle my student loans, M's car, and finally his student loans.  Once all those are paid off, we plan to build up 3 months of equivalent of our salaries in savings and save for a down payment on a house.  Within 5 years, we want to be able to purchase a house on a 15-year fixed rate mortgage and have no other debt.

For those of you paying attention, this kind of loosely follows Dave Ramsey's plan.  We're not actually enrolling in any of the classes because A) I feel like I can get enough of the information online to figure out a plan for us and B) I don't need any preaching alongside of our debt diet.

Still with me? I know many people's eyes roll to the back of their heads when anyone starts number crunching, but I absolutely LOVE this stuff. Comes with the territory when both of your parents are accountants.

Talking about our goals is really fun and exciting.  You may daydream of tropical vacations and handbags, but I daydream of being totally debt-free with bank accounts busting at the seams from lots of savings.  {OK, I dream about the handbags and vacations too.}  The hard part is actually changing our spending patterns and habits and putting plan into action.  To be continued tomorrow...

Meal Planning

I've noticed a lot of people have made meal planning as one of their 2013 resolutions and thought I'd share some thoughts and tips.  I've always loved to cook and even in college, I attempted to make myself a home-cooked dinner once or twice a week.  I tried to make homemade meals for myself as often as possible when I was single and living by myself, but it is SO HARD to cook for one and I often fell into the expensive trap of take-out or frozen meals.

When M and I moved in together in the fall of 2010, I realized I had to do something about our evening meals before our spending got way out of hand.  At the time, I would wait until 3pm to decide what I wanted to cook for dinner.  I was never sure what we had in the fridge or the pantry, so I would just go to the store and buy everything we needed.  At one point, we had 3-4 jars EACH of cinnamon, rosemary, thyme, and garlic powder.  Some days at work would get crazy busy and I wouldn't have time to figure out what to have for dinner, so we would end up going out and spending a ton of money and eating unhealthy.

My mom has always been a weekly meal planner for as long as I can remember so she was my initial inspiration.  Then I started seeing bloggers like Kate and Rachel do weekly planning and, to me, that was much more attainable.  I felt like seeing women my age do it made it seem much more attainable and less "one day..." aspirational.

We have definitely had ups and downs in meal planning.  Sometimes I just slack off, sometimes M doesn't want to deal with dirty dishes, and on those nights, there's nothing wrong with calling the pizza guy.  But meal planning has enabled us to stay on an even grocery budget, eat healthy, and try a variety of different dishes.

With all that said, the vast majority of recipes I make I will never make again.  There are various reasons for that but mainly, a lot of recipes are good, not great. Since we've been doing this for 2 1/2 years now, we have narrowed down the list of great recipes that we go back to over and over again.  I hope you take some inspiration from these.  I'd LOVE to know what your tried-and-true recipe repeats are. We're always looking for new ones!

1. Eat, Live, Run's Boyfriend-Approved Spicy Black Bean Burgers {pictured}. I always serve these with Alexia frozen sweet potato fries.

2.  Budget Bytes' Egg Florentine Quesadillas. I use her Creamed Spinach, Take 2 recipe.  It's much better than the original one.

3. Slow Cooker Green Chile Pork Tacos {pictured}. Stupidly easy to make and stupidly delicious.  We usually end up with lots of leftovers.  It freezes well, but it also makes for great lunch quesadillas!

4.  Arroz Congri/Chipotle Burrito Bowls. I'm grouping these together because they're very similar and interchangeable.  Sometimes I made the IGE chicken or some shrimp to go with it, sometimes we just eat it straight vegetarian {the arroz congri is vegan if you don't use sour cream or cheese for toppings}. Either way, it's always delicious and filling and {minus the shrimp and/or chicken} budget-friendly.

5. Eat, Live, Run's Spicy Pecan Crusted Catfish {pictured}. Aaaaah I love this recipe so much! It's just got such a great mix of flavors and textures.  I almost always make this with some form of sweet potatoes and a side salad.  It makes for a very pretty, colorful presentation.

6. Jenny Steffens Hobick Arrabiata Sauce with Shrimp and Linguine {pictured}. I could go on and on about my love for this recipe.  It takes maybe 15 minutes to make.  It makes a TON of food.  And it is so, so, so good. We fight over who gets to take the leftovers the next day.

7. Slow Cooker Pepperoncini Beef Sandwiches.  This recipe was a recent discovery from Rachel. I had bookmarked it ages ago, but only decided to make it in the past month.  It is AMAZING. Just so good and simple and delicious.  I am getting hungry thinking about it!  I typically only use 1-1 1/2 lbs of the beef and we put the Sargento Mozzarella-Provolone slices on top, although I bet pepper jack would be wonderful as well...

8.  Cooking Light's Spicy Lemon Trout.  We have this a lot.  Rainbow trout is relatively inexpensive, easy to find, and when farmed in the U.S.A., is a sustainable fish population, which is important to both of us.  I don't do the fancy dressed trout filets.  I just lay lemon slices on the top and broil it without flipping for a total of 6-8 minutes.

9.  Four-Cheese Roasted Vegetables.  This is borderline retro for me.  My mom made this for us all the time growing up and it will always be one of my favorite side dishes.  I would be willing to bet that if you have a picky eater in your family who isn't big on veggies, this would be a game changer.

10. The Pioneer Woman's Pasta alla Vodka {pictured}.  Despite my serious issues with Ree, I do love this dish.  It's an absolute indulgence, so it's rare that I make it.  And even then, I make adjustments {those can be found here}.  But for a night when you feel like splurging without spending hours in the kitchen, this is really hard to beat.

11.  Laura Calder's Fish en Papillote.  Feels fancy and fiddly, is actually stupid easy.  The spices are what makes it! I find that I need to cook mine a little longer than recommended, as I like my salmon more medium than medium-rare.

12.  Simply Grilled Chicken Breasts.  We have these at least once a week in the summer.  My mom discovered this recipe and it is, bar none, the best grilled chicken.

A few more notes: I find that having some "rules" with regards to planning helps immensely.  I instituted Soup Sundays this fall and plan to continue that through the end of the winter.  We don't stick to a strict Meatless Monday {but if that works for you, do it!}, but I make sure that at least 1 or 2 of our meals each week are totally meat free.  I also make sure at least another one of our meals is seafood.  And I restrict our red meat pretty significantly.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good steak and I have some great beef recipes, but I feel strongly about consuming meat that isn't factory-raised and that is a} expensive and b}hard to find where we live.

I use the Project Girl's Meal Planner/Grocery List {the second one}.  Print off a stack of them and keep them in your office, at home, wherever you do your planning.

Try to have a day each week at home when you plan out everything.  That way you can go through cookbooks, browse Pinterest and blogs, and pull out magazine recipes all at once. You can also go through your freezer/fridge/pantry to see what you have/need to use.

Make notes! It's easy to make a recipe and then forget what adjustments you made, whether or not you liked it, and/or where you found it.  Posting on the blog is obviously a great record for me, but I also delete recipes that I've Pinned, made and didn't like. I throw away any magazine tear-outs of recipes I've made and didn't like.  If I make a recipe and like it, notes go in the margins and saved in a binder.

What other tips would you add?  Are any of you just starting out on the meal planning bandwagon? I'd love to hear how it's going!

Goals

I've resisted doing a post with new year's resolutions as they all seem to fall into two categories:  people who make resolutions and talk about how cliche resolutions are and people who don't make resolutions because people never keep them and talk about how cliche it is to not make resolutions because people never keep them.  I fall squarely in between.  {There's also a third category of people whose resolutions read like a Kate Spade ad, but we discussed that on Twitter last week, so I'm not going there.}

I like the idea of resolutions.  As a type-A perfectionist, I'm drawn to that idea of constantly striving for self-improvement.  Growing up, resolutions were a requirement in our family new year's meetings.  These meetings were all business.  My dad would make hand-outs with bullet points and we had to prepare at least 3 resolutions to bring to the meeting.  My parents still have a folder with all of our past resolutions.  My personal favorite is the year my sister resolved for our family to be on Family Double Dare.  Add that one to the 'failure' pile.

But resolutions too often are these rather vague, overreaching visions of what and who we want to be without any sort of framework, plan, or ground game for accomplishing these visions.  Most of the time they are more or less us telling ourselves what we think the best version of ourselves would be.  And then a year later when we haven't ticked everything off the list, you are left with the sneaky and disappointing suspicion that you aren't your best self.  If the idea behind resolutions is self-improvement, that doesn't seem like a particularly wanted outcome.

With that said, this type-A perfectionist adores goals and loves nothing more than the feeling of marking something off of a list.  When I make to-do lists, sometimes I write down things I've already done just so I can mark them off.  I find it that satisfying.  So while I do have some resolution-ish things in mind for 2013 {most of which are closely related to items on my 101 in 1,001 list}, I'm much more excited about the monthly goals I've set for myself.

One of my overarching themes for 2013 is to live a more deliberate life in all aspects of my life.  I don't intend that to mean that every detail of my life is planned out to the second; there's a lot to be said for spontaneity and letting things happen as they come.  But too often I find myself not following through with my best intentions and watching the days go by without accomplishing much of anything.  The road to hell and all that.  I want to look back this time next year and say, "Wow, I really did stuff this year!" instead of "Wow, I wanted to do a lot of stuff last year!" {see: decorating our home to look like two employed adults live there}.  This quote has been inspiring me these past few weeks: "Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life." - Donald Miller

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So my monthly goals seem rather silly when typing them out on their own.  But come December, my hope is that they'll add up to a much larger picture of accomplishment and yes, maybe even a little self-improvement.  Vague and overreaching, perhaps, but now that I have a monthly plan for making things happen, I'm excited to get started.  Some of the first goals?  In the month of January, I want to floss at least twice weekly.  And one week, just one, I want to drink the recommend 64oz of water a day, every day.  And I WILL finish reading "The Emperor of All Maladies".

What things are you checking off of your list in 2013?

So 2012 Wasn't Awesome...

I'm not quite sure where to begin this post, so I'll just dive right in.  I don't typically do year-in-review posts, and this post certainly doesn't follow the model of most of those posts.  But I've been meaning to do a post looking back on our first year of marriage and in talking with my parents last week, I realized that reflecting on our first year of marriage is essentially the same as reflecting on 2012.  And 2012 was not a good one.

Not because of our relationship, but because of so many external factors that weighed us down.  We kicked off 2012 in Atlanta.  The flight home was miserable, because we were leaving a city we love and time with sweet friends and headed back to a condo we hated, in a city we hated, to job situations that were less than ideal.  It's hard for me to put into words the absolute funk that we spent the first half of 2012 in.  I think most days we were just going through the motions.  Numb might be the right word. Throw in the fact that work stress caused some {fortunately temporary} serious health issues for M, and we were about at our breaking point come spring.

At that point, we realized that things weren't going to miraculously get better.  We realized that we needed a change and stat.  So I began looking for a new job, and was fortunate enough to find one relatively quickly.  And I love my new job. LOVE. Wonderful people, wonderful work environment, doing something I'm passionate about.  M and I were discussing what our favorite memory of 2012 was and we both agreed it was the night we celebrated my new job at VOLT.  I think it was the first night in a long time when we both felt hopeful and happy and excited.

But just about the time I started my new job and got that part of my life together, the other wheels fell off.  We adopted our sweet boy, Ozzie.  And as much of a joy as he is to us now, the first 2 months were absolute hell.  He cost us so much money and time.  He caused many tears and fights.  With the help of a wonderful vet, our absurdly stubborn personalities, and a lot of patience, we are at a good place with our sweet boys.

But just about the time we started to figure things out with Ozzie, I had to go and blow the engine in my car.  Which, 3 months later, is an issue we are still dealing with and paying for.  Going from having only a year of payments left on a car to having to put in a new engine AND a new transmission is not a fun experience. Especially when you and your spouse both work for non-profits, which translates to not a lot of extra cash lying around to take care of these things.  We truly would not have made it through this fall without our parents.  They have showed us that you are never too old to need your mom and dad! We are so grateful to them.

Did I mention that in the midst of starting the new job and adopting the new dog we moved 20 miles south?  And went to five weddings? Three of which M was a groomsman in?  We were a bit busy this year.

We have made some definite improvement in the past year.  I am in a job that makes me happy.  We live in a townhouse with lots of space and potential, a big kitchen, and a fenced-in yard for our boys.  M has a new car for the first time since he was 16.  We are making progress on paying down debt.  2013 kicks off in a much better position than 2012.

But we still have a ways to go for 2013.  As much as we love our actual physical residence, we still don't like where we live.  We have no friends with no chance to meet new friends and nothing to do.  That is the reality of the tiny place we moved to so that my commute would be manageable.  We feel like we are watching our childless years blow by us, unable to do the things we want to do in this supposedly carefree time.  That's got to change.  I need gal pals.  M needs male friends.  We need couple friends so that I can fulfill my NEED to entertain.

It's impossible for me to separate my thoughts on the first year of marriage from my thoughts on 2012 because they are one and the same.  Marriage is hard.  That shouldn't be a shock to anyone.  The world threw so many obstacles at us this year that there were times when we truly struggled in our relationship.  But I married an incredible man who takes his vows as seriously as I take mine.  We absolutely meant the words we said to each other on our wedding day and we are in it for the long haul.  I don't think we expected to have so many of those vows tested so early on in our marriage, but I think we both feel that we can pretty much handle anything now.  There were times last year when I was so angry because we weren't getting that rose-colored hazy fog type of newlywed bliss that you hear about.  We got the real world and we got a hell of a lot of it.  But we also came out of it feeling fairly bulletproof, and for my money {what little of it is left after my car is finally fixed!}, I'll take bulletproof over schmaltz any day.

We've decided 2013 is going to be our year.  We may not be able to take all the trips we want this year or finally pull the trigger on buying a house, but we're going to make it an amazing year all the same.  Our little family of four plans to dominate the next 12 months in a big way.

The Dude Gift Guide: First Anniversary

First Anniversary Dude Gift Guide by gesshoo on Polyvore

In a Father's Day gift guide I posted earlier this year, I discussed the dearth of male gift guides for men like my husband.  Most gift guides are for men who are a hybrid of hipster/prepster/dapper.  M does not fall into any of those categories.  His category is more "Boy Next Door."  He likes beer, bacon, sports, and doing stuff.  Stereotypical heterosexual male.  

As I approached our first anniversary, it was important to me to stick with the traditional first anniversary gift of paper.  But naturally a quick Google search for "traditional first anniversary gifts for husband" came up with some truly horrible suggestions.  So once again, I'm doing the heavy-lifting for you ladies with men in your lives like M.  I present to you The Dude Gift Guide: First Anniversary edition:

1. A certificate for an Orvis fly-fishing school.  This was my original gift to M, but after the engine incident, we had to scale back on our plans {read: spending}.  Hopefully we'll be able to make this happen next year.  I've attended the one in Vermont and they are so much fun! 
2. An autographed picture of his favorite sports hero.  I gave M an autographed picture of his other sports hero, Ray Lewis, as a wedding gift and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to top that gift. He loves it. 
3. An e-Reader.  I thought this was a punny play on the idea of a paper gift.  Plus M is always stealing my Kindle to read whatever I've got on there, so it's about time he gets his own!
4. Your DirecTV bill, showing him that you've paid for a season's worth of NFL Sunday Ticket.  I know it's pricey, but I figure M would be at a bar every Sunday spending at least $50 on wings and beers, so in the end, it's cheaper just to spring for the TV package.
5. Tickets to a pro sporting event.  M got hockey tickets last year for Christmas and he was thrilled. I've found that a lot of guys would rather receive experiences as gifts, rather than things, so this is a great option for the guy who has everything.  Now if the NHL can just work out its issues...
6. The New York Times History of [Insert His Favorite Sports Team Here].  This is what I ended up getting for M and it could not have been a bigger hit.  I got him the History of the Baltimore Orioles, and coming off of their historic postseason run, this was such perfect timing.  It's so fun to go through and read the really old newspaper headlines.
7. A cheeky money clip filled with cash.  If you're in a household like mine where the wife is in charge of the money, sometimes it's hard for me to make M feel like he's not on an "allowance".  I know he would love for me to hand him a big ole wad of cash and tell him to spend it any which way he chooses, no questions asked.

My List

Kate Spade 'To Do' refills

At the risk of being blogger-cliche, I've come up with my own 101 in 1,001 list.  I first was inspired to do this when I read Design Darling's list.  I started working on a list, but just couldn't seem to find the motivation to finish it.  Then I read The Dirty Martini Diary's list and how Lulu was starting it on her 30th birthday, but thought maybe she should've have started the list to culminate on her 30th birthday,  and that lit a fire underneath me.  Because November 11, 2012 is 1,001 days until my 30th birthday.  Time to get cracking!

1. Find a fitness routine that works for me and stick with it.

2. Purchase personalized stationery. 

3. Buy a house.

4. Cook at least one recipe out of every cookbook I own. {Salmon with Lentils, Barefoot in Paris. White Lightning Texas Chili, Southern Living: Our Best Christmas Recipes. Potato Sourdough Starter, Southern Living 1995 Annual Recipes. Chocolate Chunk Blondies, Barefoot Contessa Foolproof. Lemon Chicken Breasts, Barefoot Contessa How Easy Is That?. Fried Zucchini Spaghetti, My Father's Daughter. Orange-Raspberry Trifle, Barefoot Contessa Family Style.}

5. Take a flower arranging class.

8. Develop a filing system for important documents, mail, magazines, etc.

9. Visit at least 3 new states.

10. Be able to better define my aesthetic, in both fashion and interior design.

11. Scrutinize the contents of my closet and donate, store, or toss all the things I never wear.

12. Throw my first Sunday brunch party.

13. Adopt another rescue dog. {Ozzie, August 2012}

14. Buy an Hermes scarf.

15. Grow vegetables and herbs at home.

16. Take a ballroom dance class.

17. Learn to make homemade bread. {Potato Sourdough Bread, March 2013}

18. Buy an Apple desktop computer.

19. Drink eight glasses of water every day for one week.

20.  Learn to speak French.

21. Ask Grandmother for her coconut cake recipe.

22. Take up yoga.

23. Send fifty handwritten notes, not including thank-you notes.

25. Sing karaoke. {VA's Bachelorette Weekend, March 2013}

26. Get some backyard chickens.

27.  Host a major holiday.

28. Get a massage.

29. Make M breakfast in bed.

30.  Go camping with M.

31.  Learn the art of canning food.

32.  Follow the 100 Days to Christmas eBook.

33. Make Julia Child’s Boef Bourguignon. 

34. Make an address book with contact information for family and friends.

35. Join the S***burg public library. {March 2013}

36. Visit all the D.C. monuments.

37. See the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes Christmas show.

39. Floss every day for one month.

40. Do a cleanse.

41. Purchase and learn photo editing software.

42. Take a self-defense class.

43. Buy a piece of original art.

44. Cook a meal for my mother.

45.  Visit Montpelier.

46. Put together a home management binder.

47. Find my best beauty routine.

48. Learn how to play Gin Rummy.

49.  See an opera performed live.

50. Invest in ten coffee table books. {1. Vogue Weddings, March 2013 2. Vogue Living, March 2013 3. The World in Vogue, March 2013}

51.  See a Broadway show.

52. Throw my parents a 30th anniversary party.

53. Buy a Goyard tote.

54.  Learn to make my mother-in-law’s marinara sauce.

55.  Learn to make Grandmama’s rolls.

56. Go on a trip with my sister.

57. Visit all of the S***V*** vineyards. {Three Fox Vineyard, October 2012. Glen Manor Vineyard, March 2013. Boxwood Winery, March 2013.}

58. Find a way to volunteer locally {soup kitchen, homeless shelter, SPCA, etc.}

59. Purchase a set of quality luggage.

60. Read every Jane Austen novel. 

61. Learn needlepoint.

62. Get a facial.

63.  Take a sewing class.

64. Try one totally-out-of-my-comfort-zone exercise class.

65.  Buy a pair of Ferragamo Varinas.

66.  Go to a music festival.

67. Order a wedding album.

68. Research and put together a family tree of M and me.

69. Read twenty new books.   {1. Unbroken, May 2012 2. Divergent, May 2012 3. Insurgent, June 2012 4. The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, June 2012 5. The Royals, July 2012 6. Sarah’s Key, May 2012 7. Gone Girl, October 2012 8. The Emperor of All Maladies, January 2013 9. South of Broad, February 2013 10. Game Change, February 2013 11. The Space Between Us, February 2013 12. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, March 2013 13. Major Pettigrew's Last Stand, March 2013 14. The Night Circus, March 2013}

70.  Make homemade marshmallows. {February 2013}

71.  Lose these last pesky 10-15 pounds.

72. Get in the habit of monthly self breast exams.

73. Turn off my iPhone/iPad/computer for an entire weekend.

74. Buy a nice camera and learn how to use it.

75. Throw a surprise party for a friend. {Happy Birthday, Kristi! September 2012}

76.  Spend a weekend at the Greenbrier.

77. Go tubing or kayaking on the river.

78. Find a skincare regimen that works for me.

79. Take a trip to France.

80.  Create a will.

81. Go on a spontaneous day trip.

82. See ten so-called classic films.

83. Visit Harper’s Ferry, WV.

84. Invest in a classic handbag.

85. Have a picnic. {Sky Meadows State Park, April 2013}

86. Learn how to do a perfect smokey eye.

87. Start a collection. {Spode 'Woodland' China collection started on Christmas 2012.}

88.  Put $10 in savings for every goal accomplished.

89. Visit my sister at college before she graduates.

90.  Take a food styling or cooking lesson of some sort.

91. Try five new foods.

92.  Learn to French braid.

93. Go vegetarian for a month.

94.  Buy myself a beautiful piece of jewelry.

95.  Run a marathon.

96. Pay off all debt.

97. Have a father-daughter date.

98. Go apple picking.

99. Visit 3 new cities.

100.  Attend the Preakness or the Kentucky Derby.

101. Throw a party for completing my list! {Happy 30th birthday to me!}

I started developing this list back in the spring, so one of these I can already check off the list and several others are in the works to be completed before November 11. Plus I've already started making headway on my 20 new books goal.

Are any of you following your own lists?

*You'll notice there are a couple of numbers missing; I left those off because I felt they were too personal or private to share on here. I promise I can count.