an open letter to target

Dear Target,

  You have no idea how difficult it is for me to write this, but right now, you are THE WORST STORE on the planet.  You see, normally you are my happy place.  I can go in, get a big fountain diet coke, and spend hours browsing your wares.  Designer collaborations, inexpensive work-appropriate ensembles, charming stationary, a veritable treasure trove of beauty and personal care items, beautiful things for the home, and groceries.  All under one brightly lit roof!  So naturally, when it came time to set up our wedding registries, Target was one of the stores where we just had to register.

  Big. Freaking. Mistake.  Over the past few months, your registry "services" have been nothing but a headache.  

  Example One:  MULTIPLE times {as in, every single time}, items that I KNOW you have in stock in your stores show up as "online only" and/or "temporarily unavailable" and/or "out of stock".  Want to explain that to me?  How literally just days ago I added a bedspread and a blanket to our registry in a store where there were multiples of this item, not on sale, on your store shelves, yet magically now it is only available online and temporarily unavailable?  Approximately half of our registry shows items that are unavailable/out of stock/online only when I know this to be false.  FAIL.

  Example Two:  Your return policies are terrible.  You claim to have "no-fuss returns and exchanges – with or without a receipt – in store or by mail."  That is, in fact, a lie.  Because we received a gift that was purchased at Target, but without an accompanying receipt.  The item is not on our registry, hence the reason we want to return it.   It's not on the gift purchase log because the guest didn't indicate it was a gift for us.  So now we are stuck with a $200 item that we don't want.  I would love to "no-fuss exchange" it for a $200 item that is actually on our registry, and you would think that since we are directing our friends and family's business to your store, you would be a little forgiving here.  It's not our fault we don't have a receipt.  We didn't steal it.  We just don't want it.  I have not had this problem at our other registries. At all.

  Example Three:  Your new website doesn't seem to think I should be able to access my own registry.  I realize that with website upgrades, sometimes there are hiccups.  Really, I get it.  But when approximately 50% of the items I'm registered for need to be removed since they are allegedly unavailable {see example one}, I do need to know that when I log in with my name and password, you don't prompt me to create an entirely new registry.  And when I call your helpline and explain the issue, it would be nice if I got some help other than "log on again in 4-5 hours and see what happens."

  Example Four:  While you seem keen on updating my registry to tell me that um, EVERYTHING is no longer an option, you are in no rush to update the registry when people actually purchase gifts.  We are now more than two weeks removed from my first shower.  I received several gifts from our Target registry at said shower and those gifts are still just sitting there on the registry lists saying that no one has purchased them.  I know for a fact that the purchasers of said gifts gave the checkout person the registry to take the items off of the list.  So what gives?  Since I can't have 50% of the items, you'll just let people buy multiples of the other 50% and call it even?
 
  So in conclusion, I am seriously annoyed.  I really and genuinely love all the items we registered for at your store and it would thrill me if our guests were so generous as to purchase some of them for us.  But you apparently are doing everything in your power to get them to go to Williams-Sonoma and Crate & Barrel.  Is that really what you want?  Get your registry act together.  You are seriously ruining my happy place for me.  And I need it to be happy again soon.  There's a pair of Missoni heels I've got my eye on...

Sincerely,
Me