it never ceases to amaze me how unbelievably uncouth people can be when it comes to weddings. a recent trend i've seen popping up on the wedding blogs i follow has me just completely aghast and i needed to post a brief rant.
honeymoon registries. w.t.f. i think this is just pure greed and so terrible to ask of your guests. this is basically asking for money, plain and simple. i realize you can use the same argument for regular wedding registries, and while i do think there is something truly off about providing a list of your wants to your guests {basically telling them to buy you stuff}, these types of registries have become a part of the wedding culture and i think can be helpful for guests who want to buy you and your husband the odds and ends to start and furnish your new life together. these items are seen more as necessities...pots, pans, kitchen equipment, linens, etc. a honeymoon is not a necessity. it is not your guests' responsibility or privilege to pay for your dream vacation. i saw someone on a message board attempt to justify her own honeymoon registry by saying that it wasn't to pay for the trip itself, it was to pay for their couples' massages, drinks by the pools, and excursions in port. her justification sums up quite nicely why i think this is a horrible new trend.
i realize some of you are engaged or married and may have used a honeymoon registry and i apologize if this post offends you. but asking your friends and family members to pay for you to frolic in aruba for 10 days under the auspices of them celebrating your new life with your spouse is obscene.
what are y'all's thoughts on this? am i being completely frumpy and old-fashioned or do you agree?
back to fluffier blog posting topics tomorrow, pinky swear!
19 comments:
I am not AS offended by it as you seem to be but I can definitely see where you're coming from. Last year a friend of ours set up a website asking for money so they could get, for example a pedicure, breakfast in bed, excursions...etc. on their honeymoon in some exotic location. I remember thinking WHAT?!?! Must be nice!
Couldn't agree more. And I have to admit - the couple of times I've seen this recently, it made me feel less than charitable about what I chose off the regular registry. In other words, it tainted my impression of the couple.
I completely agree - tacky city!! Especially when you see the things people ask for. IMHO you should be thankful to have your friends and loved ones at your wedding - presents are the icing on the cake. And asking for outrageous things (or cash) is just embarrassing.
I agree with you completely. Now having been on both sides of the tree (the giver and receiver of wedding presents) I understand that people who choose to give a gift, even if it’s something off the registry, want to feel like they picked it out all by themselves. They want this gift to be not only special and personal they also want you to remember their gift forever! Now, a registry kind of narrows this down, but asking for honeymoon money really takes the personal touch out of it!
If people want you to have honeymoon money, they’ll give you a check and write in the card “use this on your honeymoon.”
Telia, NewlyWedWifeLife
I couldn't agree more. I also find it more than irritating when a couple has lived together for them to then have a wedding registry. So, you're telling me that in the years you have lived together you never bought a toaster, sheets, plates or a trash can? When my husband and I got married, we had nothing and the registry was something to get us started...not for us to use others generosity as a method of upgrading.
I totally agree with you 110%! I would not buy anyone anything from a honeymoon registery
I have a friend who is doing this and I think it is SO tacky! They might as well put on their invitation that everyone needs to bring $106 if they plan on attending the wedding because that is how much it costs per head (I have no idea if that is a reasonable number, I just made it up, haha!)!
I am in complete agreement with you!!!!! It is incredibly tacky to ask wedding guests for money, let alone to ask them to pay for something that they may never get to have themselves. Your honeymoon is......YOUR honeymoon, which means your responsibility or your family's to set up. Not the guests.
I totally agree with you. Another ridiculous trend started by some "genius" . . . Uncouth! xoxo
I agree with you and would personally NEVER have one. I can't even imagine what TLS would think if we got invited to a wedding with a honeymoon registry.
I think you are really off here. If a couple has everything they need and/or wants to celebrate their wedding with a once in a lifetime honeymoon, so what? I'd be happy to give the gift of an experience than a new toaster. After all, it is the memories that everyone looks back on, not the 'stuff' they have accumulated.
i'm kind of a fan of the honeymoon registry... i mean, i wouldn't personally do it. but it has allowed me to give my friends something fun and different for their honeymoon that they wouldn't have bought for themselves!
I agree completely! I am not even a fan of registries to begin with (though I do see their value), but a honeymoon registry just crosses the line. I find them so vulgar and wrong on so many levels.
A friend of mine had one when she was married two years ago, along with a regular registry at stores. People bought from the stores, but only a very few people bought from the honeyfund, as it was called, and she just couldn't understand why!
I'm so glad that I am not the only one who feels this way!
Gross gross gross. SO TACKY I can hardly stand it! I see people setting these up all the time and I usually just cringe. So greedy and unnecessary. If you can't afford a honeymoon, don't take one - plain and simple. I couldn't afford to go to Tahiti so I went elsewhere...I didn't ask my guests to pay for the delta. Couldn't agree with you more!
i think it's tacky when the couple sets it up...but if your best friend wanted to do something like that for you and oversee it, then it would be fine. it's not about getting the gift, it's about how you solicit it!
I am confused - it is a registry where people just give you cash for your honeymoon? Is it like a paypal account? I'm an old fashioned nerd - I love buying people a place setting of china or two flutes from their registry - I love the idea of all the meals and the drinks they will share together. I haven't seen one of them yet. Are they really popular?
Going to have to disagree with most of you. My sister did one with great success because they were already living together and had things for their home. She didn't want to register at all, but was afraid she would end up with a lot of picture frames and mismatched household knickknacks if she didn't (full disclosure, I was more afraid for her, we have a rural midwestern family, and their tastes are different. And I know gifts are gifts so there would be gratitude all around). It's not like people don't know exactly how much things on their registries cost. So little sister did a honeymoon registry only.
Registries make things easier for your guests. I barely knew what to get my sister for her birthday, let alone her wedding.
I absolutely agree...
Mercy! I completely agree, with the exception of a situation like Virginia mentioned. I am not getting you a $100 pan, and then also a pedicure in Tahiti. Please.
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