What-so What-al?

I have been a bad blogger, but I promise I have a good excuse. Here's my story. Fasten your seatbelts no pun intended. It's a long one:

So I had to go the doctor on Tuesday for a procedure to remove some precancerous cells {no worries, I'm healthy now}. My mom of course freaked out when I mentioned the word precancer so she insisted on coming to town for the day to come to the doctor with me. So off we go to the doctor. They do the procedure, wildly uncomfortable, but not really painful. No shots, no sedative, nothing like that. My doctor warns me there might be some mild cramping, tells me to take some Advil, and we're done. So I thought....

I get in the car, start it up, and pull out of the parking lot. I'm feeling fine, talking to my mom about where to go to lunch. All of a sudden it hits me: MAJOR cramp. We're talking the most intense pain I've ever felt. I tell my mom that I think I need her to drive and we look for a place to pull over as we're sitting at the traffic light. All of a sudden I get a very familiar feeling and tell my mom I'm going to pass out. That's the last thing I remember.

The next thing I know, I come to and I have no earthly clue what's going on. I'm in my car with my head on the steering wheel. I look up and all I see are branches. I can hear my mom talking and lots of sirens. So I did what any rash, sane person would do and started sobbing hysterically. At this point, my mom and the EMTs explain to me that I passed out behind the wheel of my car. My mom, stunt driver extrodinaire, grabbed the steering wheel and maneuvered us away from a) the front porch of a nursing home where old people were sunning themselves, b) oncoming traffic, and c) a telephone pole. We ended up in a tree/bush in someone's front yard. I get taken to the ER for my first documented case of vasovagal syncope. Which basically means I am a total wimp at the doctor's office. I always pass out around needles, but this is the first time it has been pain-related. So after a lot of poking and prodding and more hysterical sobbing from me, I was released from the hospital with this little tidbit: I'm not allowed to drive to/from the doctor by myself anymore, even for a check-up. Woot.

So I'm OK minus a whopping case of whiplash. My car is....driveable, but has to go to the body shop tonight for a helluva ton of cosmetic work. The bumper is literally sitting in my back seat. Oh, did I mention the people who own the front yard we landed in are TERRIBLE? They have been harassing my mom and I via telephone, even though I have told them several times that my insurance has their information and will be in touch.

So I'm feeling very lucky to be alive and walking and talking without any permanent damage and so blessed to have a mom who is super cool under pressure. I'm also really thrilled to have a car insurance agent who has worked with my family for 15 years and takes care of me {for a price, of course}.

That's why I've been so MIA. Apologies! I have lots of posts to catch up on in my Reader, so if you get an onslaught of comments from me this weekend, now you know why :) Happy Friday, lovelies!